Hello, I assume you have read my reasoning for using the term here? Within your definition, I don’t know how to define my ideal relationship, so I doubt others do. Would you call it queer? I don’t know.
Other than that, I have two main problems with your definition:
1) It erases bisexual people in monogamous relationships with a person of a different gender.
2) It erases trans and non-binary people whose queer identity is not reliant on their relationships.
I am glad that you reached out to me with your definition - there’s so much difference in the GSRM community on terminology and who can use what, so I’m always glad to hear it.
And one last note, on terms in general, I prefer “GSRM” terminology, meaning Gender, Sexual, and Romantic Minorities*, but still use the “queer” identifier for ease-of-understanding. Even within the ace-aro community, there is lots of debate on whether we, as a group, identify as queer, and I find GSRM a good term to step around that debate without stepping on toes, excluding anyone, or jumping into a pot of alphabet soup. I have not, however, updated my side-links to reflect this yet, and really really need to do that.
*There’s a lot of debate on this term, too, and I admit it’s not perfect.